Nowadays when I look in the mirror I feel like I have grown older by 15 years! I look like shit!! Don't know why...my face is not glowing at all, my eyes are always tired, my face is getting skinny...I don't know what's wrong! Is it the sleep, the food, or my mind that never ceases to think?
Today I felt like I was suffocating. Too overwhelmed by a fear, by a longing and an anticipation of what will happen when I decide to touch upon something that's been stagnant - almost dead - for some time now. I have never been so consumed by a feeling, that my mind stopped thinking about anything else..my anxiety was growing inside me that I almost couldn't breath!
Although I know I probably shouldn't go see him again, I'm torn between the fear of what it will be like after all this time and the regret that I might feel if I never do it! It's an itch that needs to be scratched, no matter what the outcome is!
I'm just gonna go ahead with it to put myself out of my own misery - even though I might feel bigger pain, but at least I will know that this chapter is forever closed, never to be opened again.
I need to clear my head, claim back my enthusiasm and shake off this obssession that's been holding me back for a while.
3 comments:
Being able to express it all is a start...I hope it works out.
Stress ages the body,perhaps meditation could help a bit. Coming back to this blog could be therapeutic, who knows.
Hang in there ok?
xoxo
You're right Salma...stress does age the body! I gotta pull myself together again..can't give in to all the stress.
And yes the blog is definitely an excellent outlet. Especially when I know there are people like you around who care :)
Thank you dear!
The courage of expression :)
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